Women in their 40s rock. Here's why.
When I was 15, I saw the world through different eyes. I remember looking at my mother's friends, who were all in their 40s, thinking how old they looked and how I felt it would take me centuries to get to their age. Being 40 was ancient to me. It was a concept I couldn't get my head around. Time for me moved very slowly, and I was busy being a teenager and having fun with my friends. Age was something I didn't care about at the time. It was abstract and boring to talk about, so I thought nothing of it.
When I hit 25, I felt empowered and driven to build a future for myself. I realized then how competitive people were, but I was determined to overcome the obstacles and give it my best shot. It wasn't easy. As a young woman, I found certain privileges were unfair. My 25-year-old body had the power to attract peoples attention, especially males. This made me feel uncomfortable since my aim was to be taken seriously for my ideas and initiative, not for how great I looked on a certain day. This was frustrating to the point where I felt powerless. The world seemed to eat me up and spit me out in ways that I had no control over. I was naive and vulnerable and relied on my looks to get ahead. Six months later, I couldn't take it anymore, and I quit. It had got to the point where I was getting depressed, just thinking about going to work. I had to make changes that would put my mental health first.
Looking at women in my family, the ones that always seemed the happiest and most confident were over 40. There I was with my whole life ahead of me, feeling miserable, and these women were thriving. I couldn't understand why. I was sure that I had mastered the art of believing in myself enough to move forward in life, but I was so confused and anxious about everything. I just wanted to hide under a rock. My insecurities always got the better of me and paralysed me from doing a lot of things.
My 30s were interesting. I had experienced quite a few relationships by then and learnt the hard way about unrequited love. I was still insecure about myself and people in general. I had trust issues with men and was always trying to impress and make other people happy. I was still confused about life but was beginning to feel different about myself. I would look in the mirror and question who I was and what I wanted. I needed to find answers fast. My friends were on similar paths, but they were all getting married and having babies, so those thoughts were cut short.
When I reached the ripe old age of 38, I was free and single. I decided to travel the world before my 40th, and I was determined to enjoy it. This turned out to be the best decision of my life. It was the biggest learning experience, and it completely changed me. It taught me how strong and independent I could be and how much I liked my own company. It made me appreciate what I had and the people I loved. I saw the world in a different light. I saw the best in me. This helped me in so many ways and drove me to become a woman, leaving behind the little girl who always held me back.
On my 40th birthday, I wrote a letter to my 15-year-old self. It was about how I felt after four decades on this earth. This is how it read:
Dear You:
Congratulations, you've reached 40!. Be proud of yourself. It may seem old to you at 15, but believe me when I say your life has just begun.
At this age, you become unapologetic for being happy. People that truly matter occupy your heart, and those that hurt you are left behind. You don’t dwell because you know what’s best for you. Confidence comes in buckets because you finally recognize the person in the mirror and love who you are, accepting every imperfection that makes up your individuality. You admire the person you have become and respect the experiences you have lived. You find your inner voice and express your opinions without fear or hesitation. You realize that you are important to this world and that you can make a change. You believe that you are beautiful, not only on a physical level but mentally and emotionally. This is empowering with purpose. The body you see in the mirror is one that you accept with gratitude and kindness because it has carried your heart and kept it safe. You appreciate the moments more, and laughter becomes exquisite. The world doesn’t seem like a terrifying place; you are more at ease and wiser. You value your independence more than ever and are not afraid to pursue your dreams. Strength is something you have gained with experience, and it feels amazing. Little things like perfect hair and makeup don’t bother you anymore. You can leave the house and be ok. This is liberating. You find a balance between who you are and who you want to become. You know where you’re heading. People’s opinions are not important anymore. You do what you feel is right, as long as you’re not hurting anyone. This is freedom.
Reaching 40 is magical because it makes you see the best of who you are. Fear is left aside, and the focus is on living great moments with amazing people. Being 40 rocks because you become a woman with passion in your heart and fire in your soul and are not afraid to show it. Life is all about taking chances and believing that anything is possible. This will be one of the greatest adventures of your life. Enjoy the ride and cease every moment!
